CURVES FOR THE CURE VII
2010 SCOUTING REPORT

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The Men

Another solid year for the tournament of men. All the teams put forth a great effort and had outstanding sportsmanship. There were some great games with walk-offs, diving catches, and fences being knocked over. Congrats to Chris Grzegorczyk and Pete Lamerato of Spaghetti Pierogi for winning the 2010 title.

1. (6) Spaghetti Pierogi

Chris Grzegorczyk (7th) and Pete Lamerato (4th)

These two hallmates put forth a great run to win this year's championship. They survived a tough extra inning win over the Wifflebenders before losing to Multiple Scorgasms. They worked their way back to the title match-up and defeated Thunder Wingnut twice to bring home the hardware. And to think, G almost missed this year's tourney for a wedding. Just another reason why the first weekend in August is not a good wedding weekend. Congrats and good luck on the title defense in 2011!

 

2. (19) Thunder Wingnut

Eric White, Dan Williams, and Andy Wingert (2nd)

The young lads were motivated by their poor showing in 2009, and they responded nicely. They went undefeated in the winner's bracket and then had the long delay before meeting up with their former coaches and teachers. It could have been the wait that hurt, or it could have been the loss of D-Wizzle who left early in the day. Regardless, the team showed great improvement and should be a huge factor in future tourneys. Props to Wingnut's girlfriend for sticking out the long day and cheering on the boys. The 2nd place finish this year makes our scouts feel better about their 3rd place seeding in 2009.

 

3. (3) Multiple Scorgasms

Craig LeDuc (6th) and Mark Hooks (7th)

Kudos to our scouts for this prediction. LeDuc once again showed that he is one of the better pitchers in the tourney by thrwoing multiple innings of less than 10 pitches. Hooks played strong despite hurting his ankle earlier in the week and continued to show off his big bat. The duo also won the showdown between former Clio greats as they beat Wiffle Me Timbers 4 to 2. We know the tradition of the Black Velvet, but we are not sure what is going on with the thumbs up that has been around since 2006?

4. (4) Bro's for Boobies

Jeff Gaisor (4th) and Dustin Looper (2nd)

The Indiana boys brought it, but came up a little short this year. This is their second straight tourney with a 4th place finish. Despite the solid finish, our scouts have a feeling that Gaisor was not content. Expect these guys to come back strong next year. Props to them for camping out and dragging not one, but two kegs to their tent. Solid effort!

5. (1) The Last Wifflebenders

Eric Kelliher (1st) and Travis Schultz (5th)

This was Schultz's first time playing at Curves without Ron Pare and the separation may have hurt. Kelliher proved to be a solid player, but perhaps the chemistry was not 100% there yet. Regardless, a 5th place showing is pretty darn good. They were very close to finishing higher, but dropped an extra inning game to the champs and eventually were knocked out by Bros for Boobies. Our scouts are uncertain of the 2011 plans for Schultz. Perhaps there will be a three man team?

6. (9) Swinging Cocks (Roosters that is)

Kevin Timmins and Michael Pizzuti (4th)

The SC's put on a dazzling display of pitching at this year's tourney. They were one of the bigger suprises with a 6th place showing, their best in four years. After losing to Spaghetti Perogi 0-9, they rallied for four wins before losing to SP again, this time 0-2. Solid effort by Timmins for shaving the breast cancer logo into his new haircut. A suggestion to teams playing these guys in the future: Spike their drink with whiskey. They stayed away from it this year and notice the improvement.

7. (7) Wiffle Me Timbers

Josh Swartz and Ben Taylor (3rd)

Each year these guys have improved. They finished 10th in 2008, 8th in 2009, and 7th this year. They were able to win one of the showdowns against their friends by beating the Hackaholics, but they then lost to their other buddies Multiple Scorgasms. They did rally for one more win but then bowed out. Look for these guys to continue to improve and take a big step in 2011.

8. (11) Titans for Ta-Tas

Dave Vermullen (4th) and Ken Sanders (3rd)

An outstanding showing for V and Sanders. They played well and had fun winning their first two games by a combined 22-2. The duo then lost a tough game to Bro's for Boobies 2-4. They suprised the crowd by responding to the loss with an upset win over The Hackaholics. We know V will be ready for 2011, but we're not sure about Sanders. Apparently his school lost an outstanding teacher who did a ton of work and carried the load for the building:)

9. (2) The Hackaholics

Joel Wollborg and Jeff Willman (2nd)

Two impressive facts about the Hackaholics:
1. They were on time.
2. Jeans were still part of the uniform.

The alarm clock issue was resolved with some trickery, but at least it worked. The Hackaholics had high expectations and perhaps the number 2 seeding put a target on their back. Just like last year they went to the losers' bracket and looked poised to make a run, but this time they were only able to string two wins together before being knocked out.

10. (5) The Pepsi Tiger Fan Club

Kevin Stackpoole and Brian Stackpoole (7th)

The Stack bro's ran into some hot teams, losing 3 to 7 to Thunder Wingnut and 0 to 5 to the Swinging Cocks. The 10th place is the lowest for the duo on their impressive Curves resume, which includes four top five finishes. Speaking of impressive, the duo knocked out most of the cleanup duties Saturday night which was a huge help for the Sunday crew. Our scouts have a feeling the PTFC will roar back in 2011.

11. (10) Belsay Road Bandits

Russ White and Walter White (3rd)

The BRB's got off to their best start, which probably had something to do with finally getting a favorable draw. However after winning three games they ran into their nemesis and lost 1-11 to the Wifflebenders. Walter aka "Duke" is considering a jump to the senior league. Were not sure what this means for Russ, but it could mean a tough new team in the senior division.

12. (27) Shake N' Bake

Chris Johnson and Matt Wicke (1st)

Congrats to Shake N' Bake for being the top finishing first-time tourney team. They got off to a slow start, losing 1 to 11 to the Titans for Ta Ta's. After that initiation they rallied for two straight wins including a 6-5 victory over the men in kilts. Considering this was their first tournament, look out for this duo in the years to come.

 

 

13. (14) The Squeeze Playerz

Joel Weir (4th) and Morrison Borders (3rd)

These two continue to show that they could be good, they just choose not to be. At least that is what we will say. They beat a very good team in Chin Music, but were unable to advance past that. They did grab hardware for the best uniforms and could have won the trophy for quietest team. We can't wait to see what they've got in store for their 2011 uniforms.

14. (13) The Closers

Brian Perry (4th) and Andy Campbell (1st)

The closers had to open the tourney early on the main field against the red hot lads of Thunder Wingnut. What looked like a good draw on paper turned out not to be. They did pick up a win before dropping out of the tourney. It will be an interesting off season to see what Perry does for his team in 2011. Will he be back with Campbell, Kuhar, Dr. Burr, or his brother Dave?

15. (8) Chin Music

Matt Douglass and Matt Vargo (2nd)

What could have been? After an impressive 9th place debut in 2009, Chin Music looked poised to make another run. They had Bro's for Boobies on the ropes in round 2, but dropped a 17-19 heartbreaker. Apparently the loss took it's toll, because they then lost to two men in kilts. This is another team to look out for in 2011.

 

16. (25) Team Got Cups

Jason Kanarky (2nd) and Chris Quackenbush (1st)

What a difference a healthy collarbone can make? Kanarky's partner in 2009 toughed it out with a broken collar bone, but the team struggled. This year JK went with a new, healthy teammate and they made a nice run. After dropping their first two games, they rallied for three straight wins to claim the 2010 Toilet Bowl Championship.

 

 

17. (22) Space Monkeys

Chris Bisha and Mike Rudy (1st)

The Space Monkeys came in with some experience and played well. They were competitive in all their games, including a first round 5-6 loss to Multiple Scorgasms. They picked up two W's in the Toilet Bowl before losing in the championship. With a year under their belt and perhaps some more experience this fall (JW Classic), these guys will be primed for a run next year.

18. (16) Can't Understand Normal Thinking

Sawyer Ventrone and Bryan Ventrone (3rd)

This father and son duo should probably be rated higher, considering they beat the #16 team. However, it was a close game and Team Got Cups went on to win the TB Championship. The family lost a close game against Bro's for Boobies and then faced Swinging Cocks when their pitching was on. At the next Curves young Sawyer will be on his way to college. Good luck with the senior year at VL.

19. (24) The Morning Pop Ups

Ryan McNish, Andrew McNish, and Wes Solmos (1st)

These guys were a late addition to the tourney, but they played and drank hard. Two qualities we appreciate at Curves. Their first game was rough, dropping a 0-20 decision against Thunder Wingnut. They did rally and picked up their first Curves victory before bowing out. We hope the Pop Ups and all of their creative names are back for 2011.

20. (18) Horton Hears a Hottie

Eric Horton (6th) and Andria Syktich (1st)

It is usually at this point that our scouts poke fun at Horton, but not this time. Sure there was still moments when he threw the ball 150 miles per hour, but there were signs of improvement. And he picked up the award for Mr. Hustle with his head busting dives. Syktich did not disappoint either with her WB skills. The duo picked up an impressive W over Bases Loaded and So Are We. And it appears that the relationship made it through the games, which is no easy task...so congrats!

 

 

21. (12) Bases Loaded and So Are We 

Austin Winters (2nd) and Evan Winters (3rd)

HMMMMM....What to say. The day started nicely with a victory over Night Rangers. But then again, it was the Night Rangers. Then came a 20 run loss to the Wifflebenders, which can happen to any team. But what happened next is hard to explain. On field number 1, in front of adoring fans, Bases Loaded and So Are We did the unthinkable...they lost to a girl. No disrespect intended to ladies. We at Curves are big believers in Title IX, especially when male sports are eliminated from colleges so that we can have a womens' crew team. Any way, the point is, they lost to a girl. On a positive note, this is not the first time this happened. In 2005 a member of Night Rangers (no need to drop names......David Toth) lost to Mr. V and the TA. Good luck living this down and better luck next year.

 

22. (20) Thanks for the Mammories

Chris Johnston and Mark Johnston (6th)

In 2005 Mark and Chavez E Chavez debuted with an 11th place showing. Since then it has all been downhill. They once again spoiled their goal of winning the Toilet Bowl by beating Cobra Kai 4-2. It should be noted that this team was most likely going to win best team name, but our staff was torn and did not give them the award. There might be truth to the rumor that someone at Curves is trying to keep them from every winning a trophy, unless you count the ones from Saturday morning bowling.

23. (26) Master Mason

Kirk Beilski and Scott Hapworth (1st)

The Masons put forth a good showing in their first tourney. All three of their games were lost or won by big margins. Perhaps this lack of tight game experience will come back to haunt them in 2011. Or they can channel their inner Zen. Who knows? One thing we know is that Hapworth knows how to make good pizza as evidenced by the lack of T-Dub's leftovers.

 

24. (23) Pitch Slap

Michael Flaherty (6th) and Joe Lafferty (5th)

Big thanks to Lafferty for not only being the first to arrive, but he also helped with the Saturday morning setup. These two caused a moment of excitment because they won a game. It should be noted that the duo also won a game in 2006 when they played under the name Fire Millen, which it would have been great if the firing happened then. Also a thanks to Flaherty for helping with the Costco shipment.

 

 

25. (17) Double Secret Probation

Jeremy Fox (6th) and Chris Lake (5th)

Two things that did not suprise us: Fox won the 50/50....again, and someone with the last name Lake won a HR Derby. This time it was Laker's son who won the derby, but it still counts as a victory. What did suprise us was the fact that this team went three and out. Very rare for DSP. Can they reclaim their 2007 form when they finished 8th? A better question: Should we ban them from the 50/50 and HR Derby?

26. (15) Two Man Wolfpack

Jeff Bonner and Sean O'Connor (1st)

Our scouts tried to pick one new team that might suprise some teams and finish in the top 15, but we were wrong with our guess. Apparently the John Smotlz rumors by our scouts may have been slightly exaggerated. The good news is that the men of TMW had fun and got better as the day progressed. They said they'll be back and better in 2011.

27. (21) Night Rangers

David Lee Toth (6th) and Dan Breathour (1st)

Props to Breathour for being brave enough to play with David Lee Toth. Breathour was Toth's 4th teammate in 4 years. Not sure what that says about DLT. There was a recent report on The Ocho that DLT tried to talk his brother out of retirement and join forces. He even offered to switch allegiances to a team in East Lansing. Our scouts are checking out the accuarcy of this story.

 

 

28. (28) Cobra Kai

Kristof Kurzeja, Tom Jayroe, and Tom Downs (1st)

The men of Cobra Kai have the perfect mindset for Curves WB: Playing with beer in hand. Unfortunately they didn't come up with any W's, but they played a close game before dropping a 2-4 decision to Thanks for the Mammories. Perhaps reference to Wax On, Wax Off in their team name might lead to better results next year.

The Lovely Ladies

Despite the fact that only four teams played, there was plenty of good action in the tourney of women. Our scouts always enjoy the ladies uni's, but we really appreciate the effort of Stress Relief this year. Congratulations to Kristy Hartman and Karlee Hooks of Hooray for Boobies for winning this year's championship.

1. (2nd) Hooray for Boobies

Karlee Hooks and Kristy Hartman (2nd)

A pretty solid day for Hartman and Hooks as they went undefeated to claim the 2010 ladies title. A good day for the Hooks family all around with two titles and a third place finish. These ladies played extremely well in only their second tourney. They have a third place finish to go along with the championship on their resume. They probably couldn't have done it without the awesome work of their manager, Michelle "Hooker" Stackpoole.

2. (3rd) Stress Relief

Shauna Dillard and Jen LeDuc (4th)

Our scouts and workers love the uniforms and wanted to give the Best Team Uniform award to the ladies for a second stratight year. However, we didn't think it would be prudent. The duo had their best showing at Curves yet. They've had two 4th place finishes, a 3rd, and now a 2nd. Could next year be the year? If not, at least we know they'll have a shot at best team unis.

3. (4th) You Can't Get to Heaven On Pelzer's Nose

Jennifer Bjorkman (3rd) and Lisa Berthold (5th)

These one-time Toth's started off hot with a 3-1 victory over the defending champs. The bad news is they lost their next game and were knocked out of the tourney. Perhaps they were spending too much time planning their Girls Night Out for the following Saturday. Ummmm Apple Pie! Lisa B now has the most experience of any female player...congrats. Will they be back together in 2011?

 

4. (1st) The Boobsie Twins

Heather Brennan and Amber Webb (3rd)

This is the first tourney that The Twins came away empty handed. Two years ago they won best uniform and last year they won the title. Our scouts think they weren't as motivated due to the small amount of teams in the field. Hopefully they will be out recruiting more teams for 2011. Good luck to Amber as she gets ready to create a future WBer.

The Seniors

The third installment of the tournament of seniors did not disappoint. Plenty of excitement was happening all day during their games. The men of Morrison Hotel once again proved to be too dominant and walked away with their second straight title. Congratulations to Keith Hooks, Mark Hooks, and Scot Sutton for winning this year's championship.

1. (1st) Morrison Hotel

Mark Hooks, Keith Hooks, and Scott Sutton (2nd)

Can anyone challenge this team? Two straight titles and this year they hardly broke a sweat. Last year at least they lost a game and were challenged at times. This year they won two games by a combined scored of 26-2. Certainly they will be tough to beat, especially with Keith's talents...He had a lot of good plays in the 2009 video. Congrats once again to MH for claiming the 2010 title.

2. (5th) Hair Raisers

Lynn Stamaris and Tim Gilmour (2nd)

Our scouts predicted that this team could make a run, and not to toot our own horn, but we were right. They only lost two games, and they were both to Morrison Hotel. They posted impressive wins and took down We Are Family to reach the championship game. They can claim the title of best senior Muth team for the next year.

3. (3rd) "We Are Family"

Joe "The Legend" Toth (4th) and Jim Toth (2nd)

It looks like the legend's replacement for Jimmy D. was a good one. Jim Toth filled in nicely and overcame the pain to lead Family to a third place finish. They were close to reaching the title game, but dropped a tough 3-5 game to the Hair Raisers. Perhaps next year Joe T. will play with both Jim T and Jimmy D. As for the offseason, look for him and half the other seniors on the volleyball court as members of the "legendary" Horizon Tan.

4. (2nd) Rack Attack

Pete Vanderhaar and John Lewis (3rd)

Rack Attack debuted in 2008 claiming the title. In 2009 they came in a close 2nd place. This year, they dropped to fourth. Is this the beginning of the end? Our scouts don't think so. They came the closest to beating Morrison Hotel, only losing 3-7. If these guys get a better draw in 2011 they will be back!

5. (4th) Stack-a-licious

Bill Stackpoole (2nd), Joe Stackpoole (1st), Rick Stackpoole (1st) and Tom Stackpoole (1st) ((not pictured))

Papa Stack brought his three brothers to their first taste of Curves. The team looked strong at times, but lost a 0-1 heartbreaker to Rack Attack. Brother Joe would like it noted that the team was undefeated before Tom and Rick arrived. We are not sure what he means by that. Perhaps this is a sign that there could be two teams next year? Huge props to Joe and Bill for their help setting up and tearing down. Congrats to Joe for being the player to travel the most miles to play in this year's tourney. He came from the Seattle, WA area, otherwise known as Pac-10 country. Do they have college sports in the Pac-10 anymore?

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6. (6th) Dudd'N Inspectors

John Compton (3rd) and Al Weiss (2nd)

Another solid prediction by our scouts. The Inspectors dropped their first game but then rallied to clobber the Olde English D's 15-0. Smooth Al was a stickler for the rules and Big John once again came up with huge connections and assets for the tourney to run smoothly. Thanks to both guys for their help once again with the Sunday morning cleanup. Next year they might get a favorable draw because of all their help.

7. (9th) The Ball Wackers

Floyd Haubenstricker and Mike Mueller (1st)

A solid debut for The Wackers. Sure they dropped their first two games, but they were against good teams. They rallied and won two straight to claim the 2010 Senior Toilet Bowl Championship. Perhaps those two wins will carry over to 2011 and lead to bigger things.

8. (7th) The Olde English D's

Tim Daoust and Dave Johnston (3rd)

In their first two games the OED's failed to score a run. Then they exploded for 10 runs against the Stud Muffins, notching their second career victory. Maybe next year they'll get two wins in the same tourney. Mr. J. was once again a man of endurance surving the three night barrage of Curves festivities. Thanks to him for allowing us to host the tourney on his property for the third straight year. We are currently in talks to sign a ten year contract.

9. (8th) The Stud Muffins

Mark Watkins and Tom Keller (2nd)

In 2009 The Muffins of Studness lost their first two games and then played their best game in the toilet bowl. They lost their first two again this year and then scored 7 in the toilet bowl, but still came up a little short. We are thinking that they should skip their first two games, conserve engergy, and go right to the Toilet Bowl. This might give them the boost they need. There are rumors circulating that a third player might be added that has ties to the Frankenmuth Mafia. We'll keep you posted.

 

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